Volume 16 ~ Spring 2004 ~ ISSN 1543-6063

SORAYA SHALFOROOSH

It’s winter grey out, 
and there is absolutely nothing 
sexy today


Grey pants and a moss green sweater
Feeling fat and depressed post holiday style
Feeling underpaid and underemployed
And I have to ask myself, whose fault is that?
Maybe I should become a travel agent or a teacher? But
I get scared of trying anything new, except for foods.
I’ve had sweetbreads, snails, and sea urchin, even jellyfish.
I have several friends I try new foods and restaurants with.
I have several friends who are poets.
I have several friends who are ex-boyfriends.
I have several friends from different jobs over the years.
I have several friends from high school still.
I think two even from nursery school.
I have no idea why this is calming me down
Like believing the coffee maker really is shut off.

My friend Mark just called, he is a poet. We went to MFA school together.
We are making plans for drinkie poos and snacks on Wednesday.
We are going to congratulate Rebecca on passing her orals.
She is the smartest person I know.

Rebecca is sexy, I wrote a poem for her years ago called "Advancing in Fastidious
Ambivalence". Mark is sexy too, so maybe Wednesday will be sexier, happier
Even if it will be colder out.



I found his ex-girlfriend’s make-up bag


Even though they broke up six months ago. He assumed he’d see her again one day to
give it back. Whatever, but what got me most mad was the eye shadow.
I couldn’t believe it. I was holding Estee Lauder eye shadows in frosted blues
WHAT! And, there was also a small bottle of Estee Lauder perfume.
I wanted to cry, throw the shit all over the bathroom tile!
Again and again her complete tackiness.
You know, my grandmother wore Lauder lipstick in coral. But she could, she was in her
70’s and retired in Florida, where that’s allowed. She also served us orange sherbet for
dessert, wore floral housecoats.
Well, Melody, tacky name and all dragged him to musicals,
Not even fun kitsch ones like Hairspray. Really bad musicals.
Musicals! She also listens to country; I bet she listened to country while wearing blue eye
shadow, snapping gum, talking too loud. Her thick southern accent, her hairsprayed
hair. How can he possibly date me now? My eyeshadow, when I wear it, is brown. And
this perfume by Fragonard can only be bought in France. So, why am I here! I live
in Soho, I’m cursed for leaving my borough. Oh god, why, oh why, am I in this Queens
apartment holding Estee Lauder eyeshadow!
Why is it that this is the part that hurts most.




I snuck into the movies this weekend


It was my first time, and I’m 34. Why did it take so long?
Felt real fun. You see the first film, which we paid for, was so sad and we had to cheer
ourselves up with some fluff. I loved the sneaking, so did my friend Suzanne.
But then I lost my leather gloves and the Lost and Found was closed.
That night, I dreamed about characters from the first film,
The House of Sand and Fog. They were on my friendster list of friends.
I clicked on their faces and read profiles.
Jennifer Connelly likes to scuba dive and listens to Sheryl Crowe.
Who knew we were friends! I sent Ben Kingsley my resume, and I became his top
personal assistant. I even made him eggs, sunny-side up, while he smiled at me.
I didn’t dream the lost house, the son killed, the suicides. Weird, eh? You see, like
Kingsley’s character I am Iranian-American, and his daughter’s name is Soraya. She
only had a small role. But it was the first time I heard my name in the cinema, I think.
And, like the Connelly character my child house is lost, taken by auction.
So, why didn’t I dream these things? Why didn’t I dream parallels?

I didn’t dream the sneaked-into film: Mona Lisa Smile with Julia Roberts. I didn’t
dream undergraduate days in Massachusetts, which I did do, too. And, I didn’t even
dream Giselle, the student having the affair(s), disappointed and seeking sex, the one
whose parents are divorced, the one going to get hurt. I didn’t dream that, no.

Poems © Soraya Shalforoosh 2004. All rights reserved.

Soraya Shalforoosh received her M.F.A, in Poetry from the New School, where she was a member of the inaugural class and studied with David Lehman, Robert Polito, David Trinidad, and Susan Wheeler. As an undergraduate, she won the Prentiss Cheney Hoyt Poetry Award at Clark University. Her poems have appeared or are forthcoming in journals such as the Marlboro Review, Skanky Possum, Octopus Magazine, Columbia Poetry Review, Shampoo Poetry, Good Foot, etc. Soraya has read her poetry at Barnes & Noble, the Ear Inn, Bowery Poetry Club, Wordsworth Book Store, The New School and elsewhere. She’s also collaborated and performed with jazz and funk bands at C-Note, Savoy, and Nightingales. She is a current member of Pen & Brush, a nonprofit women's art organization located in New York City. She is also former Director of Readings on the Bowery (formerly CCS Reading Series).

Duncan Hannah
www.jamesgrahamandsons.com

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