I find some accents very difficult to decipher. My girlfriend will usually want a "conversation" while I'm trying to read Heidegger—then worships the devil, calls downtown and has my utilities, cable and telephone services disconnected. I'm sensitive to her parent's loss, naturally, but come on, I'm trying to read Heidegger here. Often, though, they do have compelling and lively discussions whimpering out to the shed, chastened and distraught. I don't need constant noise and chatter going on when I'm trying to read Heidegger! That's why I put the cats and the goldfish and the roosters and Mother a crystal flask of cold, cold water. It's okay—my mom loves to play and will chase down anything I throw for her. She licks my face when I'm trying to read Heidegger. They do it sitting right here beside of me in the living room while I'm trying to work. I'm trying to read Heidegger! There is some jerk getting catch by police! Och sen håller det på så utan att Peter vet att det är honom! KAOZ! NEVER AGAIN!!! NEVER AGAIN!! ARGH!. . . Annnnd CUT!! We end with a cliffhanger, because of Mel Gibson's father's well known and wildly inaccurate views on the holocaust.                                                       For Sharon Mesmer Football has taken over my boyfriend's life. As such He is the Saddam of this college who managed to slaughter his way to power. All of my boyfriend/lovers had medium-to-large white teeth (not that it matters because dictators can pardon themselves) and want my brothers to be shipped off to die, thank-you very much. Moreover, he thinks it is just and right that he is a dictator. At two in the morning when my boyfriend came home I hadn't even started writing yet. My boyfriend is a dictator who gassed his own people. He has gas after we have sex. Why is this ? For about the last two and a half weeks, my boyfriend has gas ALL the time. We've really had no diet change but our stress levels are really high? My boyfriend makes me put a potato in his crotch and then screams "Look, I'm a dictator!"—lame jokes constantly (he loves puns and has a typical 5 year old's humor! but a lot of things he does that are annoying are not intentionally so .He just loves puns and telling stories and HATES politics. I daren't tell the singer in our band that. He sings like my Nazi dad and his scary friends. There must be a pattern here: I'm fat, I'm neurotic, I'm overworked, I'm obsessive-compulsive, I don't understand technology, my boyfriend's a dictator. I don't know what to do if I am pregnant because I'm against abortion, but my boyfriend's a fascist dictator and we just broke up, and I don't want him to have audiences with humble Kurdish peasants, an entire nation singing praises to  his "rape rooms", pulling out the tongues of his opponents or to use his own people as subjects for his syndicated sexual advice column, "Savage Love." Sure, they're nifty weapons for a dictator to have, and money could be made from this. But why invite an American friend named Ron to the party? Ron is about 57 years old. The question remains , where does a girl draw the line between saying, "Gee , I guess the honeymoon's over!" and "Gee , my boyfriend's a fascist dictator!"? My boyfriend is from Texas and when I asked him about the place he just said, "You DO know why it's really cheap living there. . . Right?" He tells me that it's a very dangerous place in some areas. I don't doubt that for a minute, but if I'm carrying a gun with a 17-round KRD mag and have a full spare on me maybe I would win. Who is Mike Ovitz? And what is the history of Drive-In Underwear? Perhaps the custom started there.