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So I can’t know
my blue mind. So what? So I’ve never
visited the house where he lives with his wife
and dogs, where I sometimes imagine him dozing
in his blue hammock, while the mutts sniff around
in the bushes or scratch their fleas and whine—
My green mind is smitten by every pretty woman
he sees, so he stays home and watches TV
to be safe, while my red mind wakes at all hours
and barks for no reason, annoying us all.
My yellow mind might be content to be a river
or a small forest pond, clean enough to drink.
What fun to swim naked in water that clean,
to dive to the bottom, where it’s numbing cold,
and taste that clarity! But what I really mean
is this: In the vast mind of purple that still
looks black to my colorblind eyes, my father
lay down some nights and told me a story
and fell asleep beside me. When my mother looked in
and saw us lying there, she leaned down, kissed us
and turned off the light. Then I’d hear her
playing loud records. I’d hear her singing songs
in languages she didn’t know. I’d hear her making phone calls,
and I’d smell the rich aromas of her cooking, of her perfume.
I heard her drive away one night, forever.
But the next night she came in, lay down beside me
and slept, turning gray.

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One summer afternoon
my girlfriend asked me
to tighten her belt so her waist would look smaller.
While she sucked her belly I pulled tight and fastened.
And when she exhaled, her whole body, which was skinny
and frail, bulged around her tight belt.
When I reached out to unfasten the buckle, she batted
my hand away playfully: you’ll like me more.
A family of foxes lived beneath her parents’ house.
In the evening when we sat on the porch and held hands
they yapped and barked softly right beneath our feet.
One evening my girlfriend climbed through the crawl
space
between the floor and the ground to try
to scare them away. She’d grown thinner every day.
I could hear her crawling below us while her father
talked about varnishes and waxes and different kinds
of oil, about lubricants and additives, sealants
and adhesives. He talked about plumbing supplies,
about deck stain and mildew. I watched fireflies
rise from the damp grass
into the star-filled sky.
Her mother brought out a plate of warm cookies.
My girlfriend knocked on the floor and called
for a flashlight. Coming dear, we sang back in unison,
chewing. Her mother poured another glass of milk.
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